carpe diem

where to go now?

Friday, November 11, 2016

Loving Submission, Loving Dominance

Today I love this ...

stolen from somewhere on the net - if this is yours let me know and I will be happy to credit it

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Sub Drop - How to Deal

So what do you do about sub drop? 

I get it, lots of subs get it. I think Doms get Dom drop and maybe that's different but probably similar, a reaction after the intensity and the connection and the adrenaline? 

Someone else mentioned it yesterday. They didn't call it by name, but clearly they knew it could happen and because of that decided not to have a session. They were avoiding the possibility of sub drop. 

I've never avoided play because of possible sub drop, though maybe I should have sometimes. I never really expect that it will happen to me. I'm normally a fairly level person. Oh stop, I see you snorting and rolling your eyes. Yes you. 

I think with sub drop, because it doesn't happen right away, like the second I'm finished the session, I don't always connect the dots and realize what it is and what caused it. So... sometimes I recognize it and sometimes I don't. 

What I know about sub drop for me is that I get emotional, clingy, dramatice.  I'm cold. I'm a bit self destructive. I medicate with food. 

I just googled it and there are tons of articles... I'm going to research. I will be back. 

But in the meantime if you have stories or good suggestions or bad suggestions or, please comment. You guys are the experts, I think we are all the experts, right?

Friday, November 4, 2016

Better November

This November is better than most. 

I'm always blue in November. The weather sucks. I have bad memories, bad anniversaries. It's grey and horrible and cold. And dark. The leaves are gone and there's no snow yet to brighten things.

And now that I've said all that, this year seems better. 

Maybe I'm better? 

I'm still a bit down.  A bit more liable to be blue or to get mad. But really, I can tell already on the morning of day 4 ...

ok ok, there's some afterglow from morning sex and then another little session with the hitachi, 

but maybe that's my point? I'm going to self medicate with sex and love and joy. And find happiness wherever I can. And look away from the shit that makes me unhappy. 

November, you are going to be my bitch this year. 

Wednesday, November 2, 2016


I want to be like this bowl I want to be repaired and be better than ever, more beautiful, more treasured. I was broken. I'm fixing myself. I'm getting happy

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Be Zen

Be Zen.

It has been a rough couple of weeks.

Lots of real life shit in my life.

A friend died. Fucking cancer.

Two more people almost died. Everyone around me is wound too tight, too sad, too stressed.

I feel like I am absorbing all the sadness. That I need to help them if I can. But I'm drained by it.

So... I felt like I had run out of the ability to help.

And I also think I've run out of the patience of everyone who is trying to support me. My people are tired of me being angry, petulant, cranky, weepy.

I am too.

I want my life to just settle back to normal.


Sunday, October 23, 2016

When You Thought Your Friend Was Over That Guy

My friends must think I'm a masochist. Wait. I AM a masochist.

An addicted masochist I guess.